When we meet and get acquainted we will give you a workbook, from which you two, together, select the introductions, meditations, readings, homilies, vows, and other components of your wedding. You can even pick how the proclamation will be said. The workbook will be presented to you in a Powerpoint display, with photos for reference. Then you will be given the hard copy of the workbook. This workbook is designed with many choices, so that you can go through and pick the parts you like, eliminate the parts you do not like, and add items you find independently or write yourself.
Although not in the booklet, I also have collected extensive information on less-traditional ceremonies such as Medieval Handfastings, Hindu, and Buddhist traditions. I also have access to the standard ceremonies from various Christian and Jewish denominations. I also have access to Humanist resources for couples who desire a ceremony that does not include traditional religious language. Should the couple wish to look into a "theme" wedding, I will be happy to assist. It must be remembered, however, that any wedding must retain the dignity and solemnity befitting the occasion, and I will not conduct any wedding that is undignified or at an unsuitable location.
We have a process that allows you to create your own personalized wedding, without having to create a new ceremony from scratch each time. You have time to go over the options, and then you send your selections back. Of course, you are welcome to add readings, vows, etc., from any other sources, or write something yourself. If special circumstances require, we will write special words for that situation (e.g., for a baby on the way or already here, blended family situations, to recognize a recently departed loved one, close friends who could not attend, etc.)
You may want to select family members or friends to do the readings. However, be sure to get people who are good at public speaking. Readers who cannot be understood detract from your wedding ceremony and may become embarrassed. Also remember that outdoor weddings without a sound system require really loud voices in order to be heard.
I then put together a draft of your own unique ceremony, checking to ensure that the ceremony flows smoothly throughout. I let you know how long the ceremony will last, and make any suggestions for improving continuity or eliminating redundancy. This can all be handled via email. After the ceremony, I will give you, for a keepsake, the copy of the ceremony used at your wedding.
Before The Wedding
One month before the wedding, mail or email your selections for the wedding ceremony back to us. We will then put your selections on computer and send you the draft for your review.
Within one week of the wedding, call us to make any last minute adjustments to the ceremony. You will bring the license to the rehearsal (preferred) or the wedding, and I will fill it out after the ceremony. I am responsible for mailing the signed version back to the court for recordation. If you wish our help in ceremony “logistics” or “choreography” you may visit us again to review or get ideas.
Rehearsal
Attendance at rehearsals depends on availability and the level of service you wish from us. Wedding rehearsals must be planned carefully. If there are many attendants, flower girls, ring bearers, it can be difficult to keep them organized. The choreography must be planned ahead so that there need be few, if any, last minute decisions. Most venues allow only an hour for rehearsal, so there is no time to waste. Make sure all participants are given directions to the location and are instructed to be on time. A good wedding director is very valuable. If you wish for my wife to assist with the rehearsal or directing the wedding, please call her to discuss her availability and fee. Click on Wedding Directing Services for more information.
Day Of The Wedding
I will usually arrive at the wedding site approximately 45 minutes before the ceremony, so that I can run through highlights of the ceremony with your readers, father of the bride, best man, photographer, musicians, and any others who need last minute reminders of the cues they each will have.
After the ceremony, you will receive the keepsake certificate and your ceremony copy. I can usually stay for a few minutes if you wish for me to be in the photographs. Please advise the photographer to include me in any shots early, in case I have to leave. I usually try to greet the parents and grandparents and other close family before I leave. I always mail in the license the next business day after the ceremony and I also keep a xerox copy in case it would get lost in the mail. I try to keep all ceremonies digitally and your license copy for at least 5 years, in case you would ever need to refer to them. Occasionally, a couple will ask me to renew their vows on their first anniversary.
Emily & Albert
